Blinded by the Hype

A parody of “Blinded by the Light”

Because a depiction of breathless carnival ride has more in common with modern tech hype than most would care to admit.

Blinded by the Hype

Original lyrics

Madness, pumping, dumping and rug-pull-driven grumping

Madman drummers bummers and Indians in the summer

With the degen cyber-brats

With a teenage diplomat

Riding jumps, fleecing chumps,

In the dumps with the mumps

When the crypto market slumps and bulls cut bears no slack

As the adolescent pumps his way into his hat

With the doomers scaring boomers, tweeting tech-bro rumours,

With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older

We run the vessel aground,

I tripped the merry-go-round

With the warnings unceasing, teasing, policing,

With this very unpleasing sneezing and wheezing

Hoping Altman will turn things around

The calliope crashed to the ground

Some trade bot dreadnought got caught up shorting GameStop,

Some all-hot half-shot was headin' for the hot spot

Covering shortfalls, wringing his hands,

Snappin' his fingers, clappin' his hands

While some meme stock, hotshot, was HODL’n for a moonshot,

And some fleshpot mascot was tied into a lover's knot

Which his old pop couldn’t stand

With a whatnot in her hand

So Sam bigshot with a forethought,

And now young Scott with a slingshot

Thought he found a money pot with FTX on foreign sands,

Finally found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand

As some self-taught, with gigawatts, mines more

And some bloodshot forget-me-not whispers

Bitcoin with the chips bought from an ape yacht, boosting the brand

Daddy's within earshot, save the buckshot, turn up the band

And we were blinded by the hype,

And she was blinded by the light

So pumped up to produce, another bubble in the pipe

Oh, cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night

Blinded by the hype

Blinded by the light

Growth slowed down, but the bullshit burned bright,

She got down but she never got tight

So they’ll fake it, in spite

But she'll make it alright

Some code-grown, overblown, deep-learned capstone

Some brimstone baritone anti-cyclone

Megaphone chat bot was released

Rolling stone preacher from the East

It said postpone the profits shown

He says, dethrone the dictaphone

Scrape the web for anglophones that’s how we all feed the beast

Hit it in its funny bone, that's where they expect it least

And some teen clone, monotone, with essays assigned on the eurozone,

And some new-mown chaperone was standin' in the corner all alone

Needed his prose “enhanced”

Watchin' the young girls dance

While some code drone’s millstone debugging errors all alone,

And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin' with his frozen zone

Asked transformers to save his job with a glance

To remind him of the feeling of romance

Yeah they were blinded by the hype,

Yeah, he was blinded by the light

Set up for misuse, another bubble in the pipe,

Oh, cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night

Blinded by the hype

Blinded by the light

Costs went down when the models took flight,

He got down but he never got tight,

But we’re getting wealthy, in spite

But he's gonna make it tonight

From silicon tricksters to the vaporware grifters,

Some silicone sister with her manager's mister

No one was pumping the brakes

Told me I got what it takes

We said “the race is on, baby”

She said, I'll turn you on, sonny

For right and wrong from a little pong to the deepest fakes

To something strong if you'll play that song with the funky break

Then flow-charts’ black arts fired corporate counterparts,

And Go-Cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart

‘Cause agents save what budgets provide

To see if it was safe to go outside

And pray for earthly-mercy if alignment works adversely,

And little Early-Pearly came by in her curly-wurly

Or guess we’ll get nirvana worldwide

And asked me if I needed a ride

Oh, some scholars in squalor wrote posts in fear

Oh, some hazard from Harvard was skunked on beer

Like some west coast Paul Revere,

Playin' backyard bombardier

While some avant-garde with data shards

Yes, and Scotland Yard was trying hard

Took business cards to the lumber yards

They sent some dude with a calling card

And said “screw your concern, I’ll build my career”

He said, do what you like, but don't do it here

So they logged in, thought aloud, read through the blogs

Well, I jumped up, turned around, spit in the air

Scanned through the cloud, decided that tech was the fall of Rome,

Fell on the ground and asked him which was the way back home

They said “AI fright is airtight

He said, take a right at the light

Come read more on our site”

Keep goin' straight until night

Messiahs who work from home

And then, boy, you're on your own

When all the progress bars,

And now in Zanzibar

And Tesla cars are rolling towards some “north star,”

A shootin' star was ridin' in a side car

Hawking some future boon,

Hummin' a lunar tune

But all the commissars, like movie stars,

Yes, and the avatar said, blow the bar

Seek accolades and caviar,

But first remove the cookie jar

And think they’ll save the world while “normies” swoon

We're gonna teach those boys to laugh too soon

And some bootstrapped brainiac, still insisting

And some kidnapped handicap was complainin'

Current tools are crap to some e/acc he met last night

That he caught the clap from some mousetrap he bought last night

Said “we’re cash-strapped, but ASAP, we can pivot to

Well, I unsnapped his skull cap and between his ears

Another app and this time we’ll get it right!”

I saw a gap and figured he'd be alright

Still we’re all blinded by the hype,

He was just blinded by the light

New views in the news, another bubble in the pipe,

Cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night

Blinded by the hype,

Blinded by the light

Mama always warned me “in the end more gets said than gets done”

Mama always told me not to look into the sights of the sun

Oh, but mama, that’s where the funds are.

Oh, but Mama, that's where the fun is