Hackerschlockey
A parody of “Jabberwocky”
A venture-capital age parody of Lewis Carroll’s nonsense poem.
Hackerschlockey
Jabberwocky
Twas AI-driven stealthy modes
’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
And agile, nimble, syner-claims,
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
Pre-revenue and for inno-growth,
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the node graphs sprout gains
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Embrace the chain-of-block, it’s fun!
“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
Ditch gig-work grinds for cause and cash,
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the FUD-FUD turds and run
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
With paradigm-breaking flash
The frumious Bandersnatch!”
He took his venture sword in hand,
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
The pivot unicorn he sought,
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So pitch-ed he, for his series B,
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
The web3 schtick they bought
And stood awhile in thought.
And in disrupt-ish thought, he could
And as in uffish thought he stood,
Find product-market token names,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came grifting through the rug he pulled,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
So bleeding-edgy-lame
And burbled as it came!
Stack, queue, stack, queue, as debts accrue,
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The layoff axe sliced souls from Slack!
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
The new blood bled, the costs were shed,
He left it dead, and with its head
Galumphing runway back.
He went galumphing back.
And hast thou raised with hacker-schlock?
“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come claim your funds, my privileged boy!
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
Oh exit day! Your nepo-pay!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
A cyber-valley joy.
He chortled in his joy.
Twas AI-driven stealthy modes
’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
And agile, nimble, syner-claims,
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
Pre-revenue and for inno-growth,
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the node graphs sprout gains
And the mome raths outgrabe.